A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His...
kitkatboots: fiftyfandomfangirl: ^ THIS IS MY FAVORITE EVER
I just like bees and wasps because they’re a bit more intelligent. Like if...– Michael
Michael: Everyone knows children don't have necks
Me: just got an image with all these kids with necks like slinkies
Michael: With a doctor coming round like "Well, Timmy is 13 years old now! Time to apply the super-glue remover..."
Michael: It's like a rite of passage
Michael: Everyone looks forward to their super-glue removal day
Magic Carp-Pet →
cooldudewithahat replied to your post: I don’t understand why I’m lacking in vitamin D if… not getting enough sunshine That would make sense considering the weather right now.
I don’t understand why I’m lacking in vitamin D if it’s found in red meat, dairy and bread. I live off meat, cheese sandwiches and milky tea.
scootyshabooty: okay okay hey Steve hey I have a joke okay I have a joke okay listen now listen what do you get— Steve listen Steve okay what What do you get when two eels— Steve What do you get when two eels fall in love …. A MORAY Shut the fuck up jeff.
Status: I just had a sandwich. It was delicious.
Comment (from relative over the age of 40): Hello Jim! I hope you're doing fantastic down where you are. I was just looking through some old pictures of you as a child and realized just how precious you were. LOL! When are you coming back up to visit? Your Uncle Jeff and I can't wait to see you again. We've got plenty of chores for you to do up here to help around the house. LOL! Just kidding Jim! How's your mother? I hope you're helping her out and being a good kid! But I have nothing to worry about, you're always a great kid! LOL! Hope all is well.
avulgardisplay replied to your post: I’m wearing two pairs of tights, pyjama bottoms,… That sounds awful :( My dog refuses to sit on my feet to warm them up too! This is an outrage
I’m wearing two pairs of tights, pyjama bottoms, socks, two t-shirts and a jumper and you can see my breath in my room. This draughty window is beyond a joke.
Anonymous asked: Are you a student? Or what do you do?
“Common symptoms include: being sensitive to cold weight gain depression tiredness slowness in body and mind muscle aches and weakness muscle cramps dry skin brittle hair and nails” Yessssss everything makes sense finally.
I can’t do the talk like they talk on the TV, And I can’t do a love...– Romeo and Juliet - Dire Straits
cheezepizza: shorturl: “Eels always look like they just told a joke and are waiting for a reaction.”