rue: sing for me, katniss
katniss: SHAWTY HAD DEM APPLE BOTTOM JEANS, BOOTS WITH DA FUR
I was just persuaded to sing The Wee Kirkcudbright Centipede in front of everyone whilst sober. This is not a common occurrence.
I was speaking to my cousin on Monday, whose wife is 4 months pregnant. He was telling me that she was using being pregnant as an excuse so often that he assigned her pregnancy cards, and she was only allowed to use them once a day, but then she slowly won him round to 2 a day, then 3, then once they got up to 5 cards a day he gave up on that idea.
zakmcgrath: if i die i want my tumblr deleted straight away because ive said things on here as a joke and if a newspaper like the sun did a story on my tragic teen death and stumbled upon my blog the headline would be like HATEFUL RACIST HOMOPHOBIC TEEN DIES, DESERVED IT
bobbeyahkne: one upon a time there was a princess in a tower and a prince came to rescue her “fuck off” she said “the tower has wifi, does your horse have wifi? i didnt think so.” “what” he said because this was not how fairytales usually went so she pushed him out the tower window and then went and posted about it on tumblr
halfasianprince: 3 words, 11 letters, 1 meaning that’s so raven
If I’m speaking whilst typing or writing I sometimes type or write what I’m saying. I was watching Beauty and the Beast and singing along to the Gaston song. I meant to type, “This song makes me happy.” whilst singing, “When I was a boy I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large.” This ended in me saying, “This song makes me large”.
My granny’s dog looks like the footstool in Beauty and the Beast. While it was still a footstool that is, not once it turned back into a dog.
my kids: mommy and daddy how did you two meet
me: the internet honey she reblogged my picture and that's when i knew she was dtf